I did it I stood up to you! I can’t believe you said the things you did. You honestly have no clue what I am going through. You can go get fucked I’m done with you and your 3rd grade drama!
Jordan means a lot regardless of what happens, and you just have no idea. Hope you enjoy your message I sent.
So this is it decision made I’m going to start fighting, start fighting for what I want, I don’t care how long it takes I know what I want and I refuse to give up. Look out because I’m coming for you, I love you more than ever before and I deeply regret the decision we made. This week ill try leave you and not contact if I haven’t heard anything by Saturday night, ill come to you on Sunday. Ill wait for you
What do you do when everything comes crashing down, when the one you love won’t reply, when everything becomes so hard, when people become hard to be around. What happens when he moves on :(. So much going through my mind, so much hurt racing through my body and so many tears fall from my eyes. Just want to rewind that clock back to 8 days ago and say no I want to fight, fight for us and make it work, I hate that we gave up, I hate that your the one person to cheer me up, I hate that empty abandoned feeling I have inside me. Most importantly I hate myself!
People keep saying in time you will feel better, well sorry but I feel fucking bull shit 99.99% of the time :’(. I miss him so much and the waiting is killing me! Just hope you are ok and contact me soon. Can’t imagine life without you! People can say what they want but walk a day in my shoes from the past week and you will understand what it’s like to wake up in tears because he has appeared in my dreams, to go through a day at work and pretend everything is ok, to come home and try not to cry because everything reminds you of him; unless you can do that and see and experience what I have for the past week then you can say all you want. I’m not doing this for attention but so everyone can see what it’s like to have made a big mistake and then trying to fix it while waiting for them to reply. I hate myself so much right now, I just miss you and love you so much Jordan, just hoping we can get this sorted and move forward.
I can’t do this :( I’m so close to getting in my car and driving to see you :(. I just wish you would talk to me. I’m sorry I’m sorry I sorry! I really do love you!
The devastating moment when you realise you have made a decision you deeply regret and now you don’t know what to do to make it better. All I can say is I love you, I miss you and I am so so sorry :( please come back
I just miss you…
Empty
I hate that I feel like I have made the right decision but it still feels so wrong. I lost my lover, my best friend and life. Why does the world do these cruel things to un deserving people. I just need hope we will both be ok eventually. I need hope so I can move forward because I have lost the one person that meant the most to me!
To think I could have been in Canada right now makes me regret my decision to not Au Pair, but oh well we all make choices for a reason. Hopefully I will on Canada one day very soon
